Mmm interesting post, Jackerello, looks like you should have gone for a X3 or 5, especially coming from a 330, which my brother has and a 435 gran coupe, must say don't agree with jittery ride but you could change to 17 inch wheels, have you been out on your own and put the car through its paces?
your second point I think is the difference between 3 and 2.2 litres. You could have it remapped?
Yeah seat adjustment always seems to be a pain between spouses, our 2016 have memory but I don't bother using it. But I can see that is a valid point for you.
There is a few posts on here over wind noise and my take on this is the road surface, weather conditions ie wind speed and direction, what volume level the stereo is on if at all effects how much we notice wind noise, on a new section of M1 motorway in south Yorkshire makes a vast difference to noise.greatly reduced.
Good luck with your next purchase